TALK SEXUAL HISTORY.
“Some people are together for years and know nothing about their partner’s past relationships or sexual history,” says psychotherapist Todd Baratz. He recommends setting aside time to dig into exactly that and designating it as a safe space with no pressure. During that time, alternate sharing something new about yourselves, and make a habit of doing so regularly.
“Asking questions about each other’s pasts deepens the understanding couples have of each other,” he explains. “That makes conflict less tense because partners will likely have more information about one another’s story and why they are upset.” How specific you get (like whether or not you share your "number") is up to each person, he notes. But, the more you know and share, the better, he says.
CAN SEAFOOD AFFECT YOUR SEX LIFE?
Couples who eat seafood together twice a week have sex just as often, while those whose diets are lighter in seafood have sex an average of 1.5 times per week, according to a Harvard study. Those who ate more seafood were also more fertile and got pregnant more quickly. Eating two servings of low-mercury seafood (like shrimp, scallops, tilapia, and wild salmon) with your partner each week could lead to a busier sex life. Study author Audrey Gaskins, Sc.D., adds that eating more than two servings per week could have an even stronger effect.
DON'T *FIND* YOUR PASSION.
The well-intentioned advice “find your passion” implies that your passion already exists and is simply waiting to be "found"—and when it's found, it should come with magical powers like boundless inspiration and motivation, says Paul A. O'Keefe, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at Yale-NUS College in Singapore. According to a study in Psychological Science led by O'Keefe, people should instead focus on developing their passions and realize that doing so may not always be easy. It's a subtle but important distinction: "Being open to new topics and activities, and understanding that interests develop, lays fertile ground for a passion to grow," O'Keefe explains.
For example, trying a new sport or group fitness class provides an opportunity to make new friends or network. Learning a skill, like coding, could help you make progress toward your career goals. Any of these things could develop a passion if you're open to the idea and understand that the process takes time and commitment.
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