Months after giving birth, the first-time mom opens up about the challenges of postpartum recovery.
This article is featured in a series showcasing how Equinox coaches, group fitness instructors, executives and members navigate different life stages and take control of their health as women. Read all the articles here.
Annie Rapaport is, in her words, on top of her health. Just 10 weeks after giving birth to her first child, she was back to business at Equinox Highland Park. Three times a week, she comes to the Dallas Club for strength training with her Coach and one-on-one sessions with her Pilates instructor, both of whom she’s worked with since 2019. She’s partnered up with a nutritionist, practices pelvic floor therapy, and gets bodywork.
Yet, she’s quick to admit that this season of recovery is anything but easy.
“Postpartum is rougher than pregnancy,” she says of the last nine months. “Like, saddle up. I had a lot of body pain, and there were moments where it was hard to even hold [my daughter] because I was just aching so much. And, I don't know, I think pregnancy just took a big toll on me and my body.”
Photo by Haley J Photography.
There’s an element of cognitive dissonance. Rapaport says she’s been feeling all the positive emotions — fulfilled, happy, grateful, obsessed with her baby — and she understands it can take years to feel like yourself after having a child. But at the same time, she finds herself criticizing her body. “I don't look the same. Like, I'm not the same,” Rapaport says. “I feel like I've changed a lot, and that's a little bit hard to accept.” She’s been suffering from lower-back and shoulder pain and moving slower than she used to. And the physical changes are paired with the stress of running a business and being a mom, partner, and friend. The mindfulness practices that were woven into her routine pre-pregnancy? There simply isn’t space in this current season.
“I definitely feel like I'm still a bit in survival mode,” she adds.
It helps to know she’s not alone. Rapaport’s Pilates instructor, Meg Stutts, gave birth to her second child earlier this year, so she’s leaning on her for advice and insight only another mom would have. Her husband encourages her to take the time she needs for self-care or massages to relieve her pain. She’s comforted by the brutally honest conversations with friends, one of whom has confessed that their postpartum body feels like “it’s in shambles,” she says.
Photo by Robert Underwood IV.
But Rapaport isn’t one to surrender. Rather than accepting her discomfort, she’s taking action to fix it. Under the guidance of COACH X Samantha Ward, Rapaport is performing exercises that help strengthen her shoulders and open up her torso from all the time spent “hunching over” while breastfeeding. In her sessions with Stutts, Rapaport is doing movements that improve hip stability, stretch tight areas, and promote recovery from her demanding strength work.
While Rapaport admits that she’s never felt fully comfortable with her body, even before motherhood, she hopes to grow more confident in and less critical of herself in the coming years. In the meantime, she says, “I just have to remind myself, like, every day…that I have a healthy and beautiful, happy baby, and, you know, I'll reach my goals another day — it'll be okay.”